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The mother-of-two also told how her daughters' 'direct' questions about their father's death force her to 'walk through the grief' and address her emotions.
Property developer Ross, 32, died in Coventry Myton Hospice, Warwickshire, in July following a three-year battle with a rare brain tumour.
Fans of the BBC actress had been following the family's heartbreaking journey after Holly began blogging about Ross' prognosis.
Today Holly appeared on Lorraine to talk about how the family is coping nearly two months on from Ross's death.
'You want people to cut through the things and say what is real.'It's not that people don't try but we just don't know how to deal with grief.'She added: 'I am grieving but that doesn't mean I am always sad...
It doesn't look like how you think it's supposed to look like.' 'It was on the tip of her tongue, she kind of wanted to ask and she was skirting around it.' Holly made the decision after seeking advice from TV presenter Jeff Brazier, who had to help his own sons cope with the death of their mother, Jade Goody.
'And when we knew that the reality was that there was nothing they could do and that Ross was dying, I had the feeling that I needed to tell them.
'I had to be there, and I know in the grand scheme of things this is a small part of their life, and Ross needed me to be there, and as his wife that was absolutely what I was going to do.
I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.’“I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable.
Waterloo Road star Holly Matthews shared photos of the last family holiday she took with her husband before he lost his battle with cancer.
And even though it wasn’t Ross in the hospice, it was Ross’ body, and moments of Ross, that’s what you have to do.' In the weeks since Ross' death, Brooke and Texas' 'direct' questions have helped Holly address her grief.
She said: 'I have to be brave for them, because they need me to be real about it.