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It suited me to believe I’d mess it up – I never really had to try and put myself out there.
I’d throw my energy into the limited capacity of a limited relationship.
When you start working through the beliefs in your head, you’ll see how much your own internal angst is limiting you.
The pain you’re causing yourself – there’s another, far less painful route if only you’d start considering your options.
Before, I acted like I had no options, not because it was what I intended but because I had limited myself to limited relationships with limited men because I didn’t I was capable of having a normal relationship.
It’s true – I used to live like my only option was whatever guy I was seeing at the time and it was more important to be in a relationship and pursue this feeling of love and validation that I was looking for, than it was to be in a quality relationship.
When I became ill with the immune system sarcoidosis in 2003, I was so distracted by the ‘guy with a girlfriend’ that even though I should have been focusing on my health, I was more interested on focusing on him as my only option! This is how I ended up in a number of half hearted relationships and yawning my way through many dates.
It was only when I ditched him that it occurred to me to start fighting for my survival and opening up my options. I don’t think I’ve admitted this before, but the last chunk of my relationship with the guy with a girlfriend, I think I wanted to win more than I wanted him.
When you strip out the can’t, couldn’t, should, shouldn’t, won’t and other negativity impeding your belief of what you’re capable of doing, what you do for yourself today, tomorrow, the day after that and beyond?
It’s very easy to think and talk about what you can’t do, but it’s time to do the harder work of thinking and talking about what you Hi, I’m Natalie!